Like a trip to the dentist only cheaper -

Take one (former) shopaholic. Give her a Ph.D. in psychology and ten years experience treating over-shopping. Publish her book about how to get free of the vast consumer conspiracy surrounding us, and you have Dr. April Lane Benson and her vital new book: To Buy or Not to Buy.

This is not a comfortable book for me to read. I find my behavior unmasked and as undeniable as my shoulder-length gray hair. Have I used shopping to feel better about myself? Yes. Have I used shopping to avoid confronting a situation I want to avoid? Yes. Have I used shopping as a weapon to express anger? Yes. Sometimes to all of the above, and other questions in chapter one.

Like a trip to the dentist, confronting my negative behavior and the psychology behind it can be painful, but also healing. I love this book, because there is healing in getting the rot out. Dr. Benson offers a way to find authentic happiness to replace the false esteem of keeping up with (or exceeding) the 'Joneses'. She points out the relentless consumerism driving our economy, with tentacles invading our consciousness through stores, malls, television, catalogs, Internet and even cell phone shopping. She uncovers the true cost of credit card purchases, and documents the ways invisible forces demand that we buy "more more more and now now now".

Knowledge is power. Self-knowledge is the power to change. To Buy or Not to Buy is a tool that can enable us to get free of our compulsive shopping. If you are confident that you don't have any shopping addictions, I challenge you to go to a bookstore and browse her book - consider the many ways we can fool ourselves into buying things to fill an emotional hole rather than a material need. I recognized some of my buying patterns in her analysis, and also patterns of friends and relatives.

Our materialistic society is even more insidious than I suspected. There is compassion and not condemnation in Dr. Benson's words. I recommend her book and I will be spending the next three months working through all the exercises. I have two pages of notes this morning, a start to the journal she recommends keeping. There is no such thing as an insignificant cavity - as we all know, sooner or later it will destroy the tooth. I am going to be working on the occasional - but not insignificant - ways that I over-shop, and expect that the result will be good, even if the process is sometimes painful. I want to fix the ways that I over-shop. I need to fix buying things to repair my mood, hold onto love, fit into society, and feel in control.

Grey or Grey - sad either way:

Grey or Grey - sad either way:  fog, mist, indistinct, dismal, pale, cloudy, gloomy, dull, hoary, and also ashen, drab, dusty, mousy, grizzled, smoky, somber. All of which describes both the sky here this past week, and increasingly so, my mood as well. This is the time of year I start daydreaming about running away to live on a sunny, tropical beach. That would not be a southern Australian beach right now, with their record-breaking heat wave last week amid highs over 113 degrees. I'm thinking Boca Raton, Florida, with a forecast of sunny and high in the 70's most of next week, and silky beach sand, tropical water both warm and clear. (Well, I can dream, can't I?) There is a saying here in Oregon - "If you don't like the weather, no problem - just wait a few minutes and it will change." So. I'm waaaaiting.

HUGE - a Rant

Huge - 22 times in 374 pages. Aargh! That is an average of huge once every 17 pages. It was a huge man's shirt; huge towering man; huge ... mansion; huge room; huge eyes; huge room (again!); huge ebony bed; huge headboard; huge desk; huge tension; huge fist; London was huge; huge eyes (again!); huge buildings; huge ... house; huge brick stable; huge salon - and finally! a" huge understatement" (bit of irony there).

Oh I itched to take a red pen to every huge in that otherwise entertaining historical romance. The writer created passages of descriptive prose smoother than ice cream and lovelier than a rose. Her characters grew in depth and maturity. Her plot twisted nicely without flagging. Her settings contrasted beautifully, and one of them was interesting enough to be almost another character.

But. Huge. Yikes - please add "huge" to "teeming" on your list of words that are inappropriate or overused, and avoid it like the proverbial and hackneyed plague.

The bears excellent adventure

So yesterday Pandababy and Goldibear set out to get studded tires on their bear car. Simple, yes? Not. The tires were not here, they were still in the storage unit from when the bears moved.

First challenge: the car without studded tires would not go up the icy incline to storage. Enter bears, bundled up against 18 degree weather, carrying four tires down hill, across intersection in freezing bear-town.

Look, mama bear, look. See the funny bears carrying their tires? Where is the rest of their car, do you know? How could it possibly be, that tires is all they have left of their car? Oooh, see the lady bear fall down. I think she bounced at least three times. My, is it slippery out there, or what?

Once the tires were in the car, challenge number two - how to drive from storage to tire store and arrive un-dented. Oh My! See the pretty red pickup spinning through the intersection! Go, red pickup go! Just don't hit us bears, please. Whew! that was too close for comfort.

The bears shared a pot of honey at the local Smack-Donalds, celebrating the successful installation of four studded tires. All's well that ends well, or so they say. So this evening, a storm bigger than the one we just experienced is due to visit us. I think Pandababy willl just turn on the electric fireplace and wait this one out.

Sunset and Snow Fall

We've seen entire winters go by with no snow here in western Oregon, but this year is looking white already, with more snow on the way. What a difference a day makes to the view from our windows.

The Dangers of Being Too Lovable

Modern pandas have had to cope with the dangers of being crowded out of their natural habitat, and of being hunted for their pelts to be stuffed and mounted in museums, but a new danger has been rising in the one place pandas should feel most safe: their own enclosures in zoos. Pandas are just TOO cute! Some humans can't resist the impulse to touch, hug and kiss them. Now I ask you, if a perfect stranger jumped into your car or house, and put their arms around you, even grabbing a hug when you are just trying sleep - wouldn't you bite too? The trials and tribulations of being a panda.