Monday, August 17, 2009

The Disappearing Panda

Silver Transitions e-mailed me a lovely bunch of bamboo fresh from Australia this morning, along with a charming picture of pandas (to remind me of what I'm supposed to eat and to look like, I suppose). She'd heard I've been feeling crummy lately, but I think the spelling was altered over the water because truth is, I'm feeling more cranky than crummy. But then, pandas do get cranky when they don't get their bamboo (or so I've heard).

I have lost six panda pounds in the past nine days. Pandas are supposed to have nice, big, round bellies and mine is shrinking away practically as I watch. Perhaps it has something to do with a hormone - balancing diet I'm on (see From Belly Fat to Belly Flat by Dr. C. W. Randolph).

Every few years I stiffen my will to the breaking point and Do Something to lose the fat - successfully. I enjoy my un-panda-like body for a while, then Something Happens, stress like a ton of bricks falls on me, and the pounds rapidly reappear: magical transmogrification - I look like a panda again.

Dr. R claims that estrogen overload is common among women like me who have been on The Pill for decades, followed by hormone replacement therapy to get through the bumps of menopause. He calls for applying a special Mexican yam-derived hormone cream and eating foods proven to encourage hormone balance. Often the meals make me slightly nauseous - I miss my comforting bamboo - but there's nothing wrong with lots of cruciferous and root vegetables, spinach salads and baked fish, except that my body hardly recognizes it as food any more.

But it is hard to argue with success, and any plan that has me losing weight (while still eating normal amount of calories and not getting hungry) is a plan that I want to keep following.

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