Hope Endures in The Madonnas of Leningrad

The grand, gilded frames hang empty on the walls of The Hermitage, a witness of hope for restoration of the paintings packed away for protection during the siege of Leningrad. Perhaps they are also a metaphor for the Marina's life - once filled with beauty and meaning, now under siege by a relentless enemy, Alzheimer's.

The Madonnas of Leningrad shines like a jewel from its many facets - art history and appreciation, human drama and war, the mystery of the inner person and the heartbreak of Alzheimer's. I was captivated from the first page to the last sentence of this book about beauty, this beautiful book.

Another flare

Going through another flare today, and ran across the best explanation of fibromyalgia I have ever seen, in a book or on the Internet. So many things I want to do, so little energy. Aghh.

This too will pass.

Zhen Zehn

Zhen Zhen is the name given to the new panda cub at the San Diego Zoo. It means "precious".

How precious? There are an estimated six billion, seven hundred sixty-eight million human beings on planet earth, and there are an estimated one thousand six hundred pandas alive today. That is one panda for every four million and two hundred thirty-three thousand people (rounded off).

Four million people, one panda.

That is more precious than diamonds or gold, by my calculations.

A Correction

I discovered that Cherryh's breakout novel wasn't Gate of Ivrel after all. It was Brothers of Earth.

so many books, so little book shelf space...

Words are a Form of Action

Ingrid Bengis wrote one of my all time favorite quotes: "Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change." I just ordered her memoir, "Metro Stop Dostoevsky: Travels in Russian Time". It is set in Russia in the 1990's and should make an interesting contrast with another book for my TBR shelf: "The Madonnas of Leningrad", much of which is set in WWII.

Words have started wars, and stopped them, caused murders and divorce, and created great saints and martyrs. Indeed, words are capable of influencing change.

From page 112 of C. J. Cherryh's "Destroyer", in reference to actions by the protagonist, a translator:

"He'd let his dictionary-making duties slip, thinking they didn't matter so much... But where was the clue to his problems? Lurking, as always, in the dictionary, right where he'd begun."

Insightful gems like this one abound in Cherryh's "Foreigner" series, one of the many reasons I treasure her novels. Currently, I'm reading the seventh of what is now nine books, stringing out the pleasure until the ninth book, "Deliverer", is released on January 4th. C. J. Cherryh wrote the Foreigner series in what is so far three sets of trilogies, each of which ends with a satisfying conclusion - however, fans keep asking for more, and Cherryh has delivered.

Also on my TBR shelf is the omnibus edition of The Morgaine Saga. The first book in that trilogy, Gate of Ivrel, was Cherryh's breakout novel, copyright 1976.

Stay Married To Stop Global Warming

New research shows that the rising divorce rates have damaged the environment. Yes, as challenging as it is to leap that span of logic, data shows it is true: a divorce creates a 53% rise in electricity usage, and a 42% rise in water usage.

According to the Times Online, people who stay married are good for the earth. I always knew there was an objective reason we've stayed married for forty years.

If love isn't enough, think of the planet, and stick together. Mother Earth will thank you.

Panda News and Mandatory Voting

The baby panda at the San Diego zoo will be one hundred days old tomorrow, and according to Chinese tradition, will receive her name. (see informative article here).

I was surprised - no, Astonished! to discover that Australia has a mandatory voting law. I've voted in every election, and worked at a precinct and also county level for various candidates in the past. It never crossed my mind that a country would pass a law to require voting. I looked up the issue on Google, and discovered this thoughtful article on mandatory voting law. I still don't know if I think it would be a good idea here, but the thoughts and statistics in Dean's essay has made me consider the idea.

So Very Thankful

An attitude of gratitude - that is what Thanksgiving Day is all about. Those Pilgrims lived in conditions that would make so many of us complain and cringe. They had just survived terrible and decimating diseases and famine. So when they were blessed with the food the Indians brought them, they gave thanks, and hundreds of years later, we commemorate the generosity and kindness, the compassion of those Indians, and we give thanks for all the blessings in our lives, starting with the people who have shown us kindness.

I give thanks for my husband whose generosity and love has provided me with a fast Internet connection and encouraged me to blog and reach out into the world through my computer. I give thanks for the creative and generous people who invented BookCrossing, and LibraryThing, and BookMooch, eBlogger, Forward Motion, NaNoWriMo, WikiPedia, and all the rest of the incredible online world.

For everything I have lost through FMS and CMP, I have gained even more. My life is richer, not poorer, for having to deal with chronic and painful illness.

I give thanks for my sister and her family, my children, all my relatives and friends, and the wonderful strangers I've met on the Internet, who have become friends also.

I also give thanks for everyone who has commented on PandaBaby. Thank you for visiting my blog.

Understanding Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

My purpose for this blog entry is to increase understanding of fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain. First is a list of highly rated books I own on the the subject. Next, some of my personal experiences with FMS/CMP. Tomorrow will be on my own experience of what is helpful. A Google search on "fibromyalgia" will reveal many websites with more detailed and thorough information than what I present here. The Fibromyalgia Advocate - get sufficient pain treatment medication, and other help. Fibromyalgia & Chronic Myofascial Pain - similar conditions, often confused or conflated by medical professionals. Find out the difference and get an accurate diagnosis. The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook - don't just stand there in pain: do something about it! I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia on December 17th, 2003, by a rheumatologist who specialized in fibromyalgia patients, after being initially diagnosed by my family doctor.

At first, I didn't even tell my relatives -- my mother, sister, son, daughter, etc. I didn't want to admit I have a painful, chronic and incurable condition. I didn't want people trying to manage my life for me, and 'helping' me by limiting what I could do. I didn't want to be seen as different, or helpless or some kind of damaged goods. I was in a deep flare because of doing everything as if I didn't have any pain or exhaustion. I was diagnosed after I passed out one morning, and discovered that denial doesn't work as a cure, and can push a mild case of FMS into a major flare. I'm writing about FMS and chronic pain now because I hope to empower others who have FMS, and people who love someone with FMS. Knowledge is power: the power to stand fast and get the correct treatment, the best medication, for a condition. Knowledge is the power to be not intimidated by people who, whether out of ignorance or malice (usually ignorance), try to manage you (for your own good, of course!) with comments such as "well, everyone has pain, you know".

Knowledge is power to vote with your feet and fire a doctor who tells you it is all in your head. When I tell those people that studies have shown that people with fibromyalgia have at least four times the amount of the pain neurotransmitter in their muscles, they usually look blank for a moment as they process the concept, and then most of them look shocked, as they try to imagine what that would mean in terms of their own aches and pains. CMP and FMS do not show "on the outside". Sufferers look 'normal' and, in between bouts of pain, weakness and exhaustion, can be as busy as anyone else, or even busier as they try to regain control of their lives and catch up on postponed work and play. Like other "invisible" diseases that leave no surgery scars and require no casts or splints, the chronic pain of FMS and CMP (Chronic Myofascial Pain) deals sufferers a double blow: that of dealing with a condition that limits your choices and greatly greatly alters your life, and also the isolation that comes from living with a condition that most people don't understand.

My husband's first comment on hearing I had the condition since I was a young teenager was, "Well that explains a lot." Meaning: why would someone who was graceful and loved to dance also be clumsy and drop things frequently? Why would someone who loved people and life and parties be too tired to go do anything for months at a time? Why would someone who 'popped out of bed in the morning like toast out of a toaster' suddenly start sleeping fourteen hours a day? Why would his wife be busy and enjoying work and other other activities, and suddenly collapse and be unable to even complete household chores? As we learned more about FMS (FibroMyalgia Syndrome), these and other mysteries were answered. After spending days reading books on FMS, and weeks in a class from my HMO on how to manage it, I discovered that, even allowing for a vast range of individual differences, "my" FMS was extreme. It took years after that to understand that I have two concurrent diseases: FMS and CMP. CMP cannot be managed like FMS, and knowing which you have is essential.

True Colors: book review

It is giving nothing away to observe that True Colors, like the two works preceding it, is about clone warriors. What I love about True Colors is that it takes the Star Wars concept of identical soldiers, cloned for only one purpose - to fight and die on command - and examines that concept, shakes it down, and ultimately turns it inside out.

For me, this is the essence of military science fiction, a sub-genre that I love: to weave into the story a deeper meaning than the tactics and battles. A thoughtful examination of what it means to be human, and to be a person, resides comfortably within the plot and the characters, without detracting from the story.

I found it easy to identify with the characters in True Colors. They had gained my interest and sympathy in the first two "Republic Commando" novels, and now they are living in my head, patiently waiting for further developments when the fourth book in the "Republic Commando" series, Order 66 is released July 15, 2008. The "Republic Commando" books are set in the Star Wars universe, but it is not necessary to have read any of the Star Wars books first.

For more details on True Colors and other books by Karen Traviss, visit her website.

Star Wars Republic Commando: True Colors

The only problem with finding an author I can't live without is that I can read their books faster than they can write them, even if I read them twice! So it was with anticipatory joy that I opened the latest publication by Karen Traviss, her third installment in the world of the Star Wars Republic Commandos. I'm on page 93, and can only promise a complete review once I've read the whole book.

Traviss writes with depth and passion, skill and experience. She creates worlds, cultures and languages as easily as some women bake cookies. The characters I met in Hard Contact and Triple Zero continue to fascinate, amuse and amaze me in True Colors. For anyone who appreciates military Science Fiction, Traviss is a bright star in the Constellation of Very Good Writers.

Trains and Airplanes and Taxis - Oh My! Memoirs of a Panda's Travels

PandaBaby is a traveling bear, well-seasoned now in the art of touring her country. In the hopes of saving other and wiser travelers (i.e. - those willing to learn from the sad experience of our own mistakes), we are confessing the true highs and lows of our recent vacation.

To begin with, we rode Amtrak from coast to coast: Union Station at Portland, Oregon to Union Station in Washington, D.C. We boarded the Viewliner with "sleeping accommodations" (a misnomer!) Sunday afternoon, and quickly discovered our first mistake. Luggage capacity for our room was listed as "two small suitcases and a garment bag". NOTE: always believe Amtrak's capacity remarks! GoldieBear, our traveling companion, did not believe, so we brought four large suitcases, a laptop, a briefcase, a camera bag, and a voluminous purse. Severely overcrowded conditions for three solid days and nights can strain even the most loving relationships, however, we adjusted and learned to communicate with mere growls and teeth-baring instead of the ferocious frowns and loud squawks of day- night number one.

NOTE: always bring industrial quality earplugs for sleeping on trains (unless you are naturally deaf to begin with). We discovered on the morning of Day Two, that no one in our sleeping car slept the night before, however, we had the privilege of having our bunks positioned directly over the faulty wheel and spring, so the racket was undiluted by distance in our cabin. We expressed our gratitude to the porter who brought us earplugs for the second night with a healthy tip when we reached Chicago. The food on the train was surprisingly good and the wait staff was skillful at delivering meals and drinks without spilling, a marvel which PandaBaby appreciated, as she couldn't stand up and walk the length of one train car without grabbing for a support.

A cruise ship might normally be a less turbulent ride. Strangely, the rhythm of the rails put the normally sleepless PandaBaby to sleep, day and night and in spite of the groaning wheel and spring. All I need to do now when I have insomnia is ride a train - or acquire a bed that rocks.

The train trip finally did end, and we exchanged the interminable train ride for the interminable taxi ride. The time from Union Station to our destination in Virginia would be a half an hour even in traffic, but our taxi driver managed to get lost, then a spectacular freeway pile-up halted us in place for half an hour, so that we spent three hours getting to our daughter's home.

It was a strange four days. The National Zoo was the best day of our vacation. We saw lions and tigers and gorillas and Panda bears! Returning home, we took the non-stop airplane from Dulles to Portland airport - a five and a half our trip that was (pardon the pun) heavenly compared with the train. The price was nearly the same as the train, flying economy seating. Home sweet home, there is no place like home - especially after being gone for a couple of weeks. Ahhh, asleep in my very own bed.

So Many Words, So little Time

Novel writing is a wonderful way to spin time - when lost in the Muse, time stretches out to the infinity of thought, vast and endless as space, moving at the speed of light without expenditure of effort or energy.

When lost in the woods looking for ones Muse, time slows down to crawl like a sloth on the ground, out of its element, looking for a way back up to the stars.

Today PandaBaby will stretch and spin and shrink time. Come join the wonder of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and find the writer hidden inside of you. Come join in the fun.

PandaBaby is off and running at NaNoWriMo.

Excerpts of her new Panda-novel will appear on her blog (copyright retained by the author as usual).

I am an endangered species

I try not let it worry me, knowing that my species is headed for extinction. When I was younger, I lived solely for the pleasure and experience of my day - after all, everyone said there is no future for us pandas, and what could just one little PandaBaby do to change that? So eat, get high and be merry, that was my motto. I climbed trees, and enjoyed the good life. What more was there for a panda?

Education was my downfall. Put one little thought into the head of a PandaBaby, and it might stick there. Pandas have a lot of time to just think, so I thought. And found more ideas. And thought some more. Lots more.

Maybe, I thought, there is more to life than a hedonistic treadmill. Maybe one little PandaBaby could make a difference - even a difference in just one thing, one life, even my own, could effect a change, and who knows where change may lead?

So I rejected the despair disguised as hedonism, and I discovered even pandas can be disciplined and have self-control. Why, I actually exercised! A challenge gives life spice - more pleasure in a flavorful existence than in all the self-indulgences in the world. What a curious conundrum. I do not say this would work for all hedonists - only that it affected me.

Challenge of the day: NaNoWriMo. Have you ever thought of writing a novel someday? Today is someday. Just do it. I double Panda-dare you.

PandaBaby discovers the joys of being a camel, and adopts a Style

The joys of being a camel (PandaBaby - with 2 capital letters) are in the delights of being found. In the hide and seek of Internet blogs and boards, camels, it turns out, are more readily found (thus BookMooch, LibraryThing, BookCrossing, etc.). So we have become PandaBaby (although I don't know yet if it will be possible to morph our name in places we are already established with only one hump).

Truth is found in many disguises - (an old and well worn truth), proven in myths, parables, fairy tales, science fiction, fantasy and in the styles of authors I admire such as Neil Gaiman and Charles de Lint. PandaBaby will from hereon be published in the category of Speculative Fiction (and some may think this announcement redundant, claiming it has already achieved that goal). Speculative Fiction embraces Fantasy, Science Fiction and horror genres. R. A. MacAvoy (a fellow camel!) is another Speculative Fiction writer I admire, most recently having read her Science Fiction work "The Third Eagle".

PandaBaby hopes that readers who stumble across her blog will enjoy her truths and lies and fiction, and not be confused as to which is which. PandaBaby will often be referred to as her, and sometimes as him, and once in a while with the royal we. Please note that there is just this one PandaBaby.

Brain Fizzle or Boring LIfe?

Neither, I hope. I've been busy, but not with things suitable for publishing (no, not that). I can write when I'm happy or mad, but not when I'm sad. I need to learn how to express sadness - but first how not to let it overwhelm me.

Translating sadness into anger works for some sadness, but truly sad things are just - sad. But not today. Today, I'm thinking of which books to set free with BookCrossing tags on Amtrak when we go on our trip to Virginia. I'm thinking of going to the National Zoo and taking pictures of the pandas.

Celebrate! Have a mammogram

It is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month - celebrate with a mammogram, or give a mammogram to someone you love.

A rainy week

A rainy week here, reading and getting ready for our trip. CC&R Update: I went to the second meeting of the CC&R committee, and brought up a couple of embarrassing facts: we were sending letters to homeowners for cracked driveways, but the homeowners association has asphalt paths in dire need of repair.

We've been harassing residents who leave their trash containers visible from the street, but the association has left a trash can visible next to the tennis courts, instead of putting it inside an attractive structure.

The association has two paths that terminate at curbs instead of 'let-downs' for handicapped access, which I asked them to have fixed, and the response was positive. Our front yard is much neater now, and I'm getting a load of bark dust to finish it soon.

I'm getting ready for our Amtrak trip back east, choosing which books I'll set free on the trains with BookCrossing labels. So far, I've picked "Mother Teresa: In My Own Words", "A Black Eye Isn't the End of the World" (panda photographs, of course!), and a two-volume-in-one travel book by Peter Gethers, "The Cat Who Went to Paris" and "A Cat Abroad".

A War Story

"The Zookeepers Wife", subtitled "A War Story", stands out in my book collection of science fiction, romance and fantasy - a different kind of book. It is a true story, based the diaries of the eponymous heroine who lived through the Nazi occupation of Warsaw in the ruins of her beloved zoo. She continued to care for the surviving animals and her garden. She worked at her daily routine, baking bread, preserving food, teaching her young son, and playing the piano, while she hid Jewish refugees under her house.

Author Diane Ackerman melds a mountain of meticulous research into a riveting story of courage, not the courage that charges the enemy front with loaded rifles, but courage that faces the enemy unarmed except for ingenuity, wit and determination. The details packed into The Zookeeper's Wife create a rich mosaic of daily life that contrasts sharply with her exposition of the Nazi philosophy and how it was implemented.

It freezes the soul to read of the cold-blooded intentions of Hitler's high command - nothing less than the extermination of the Polish people. Although the Zabrinksi family experienced suffering and loss, the remarkable aspect of the story is that they prevailed. They prevailed daily by keeping their love, joy and dignity. They prevailed in the end by surviving their oppressors and by keeping three hundred Jews alive in spite of the threats and violence surrounding them.

The Zookeepers Wife is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. Highly recommended.

Just Average

When Jaye Patrick published a link to Action Earth, I just had to go and see what our carbon footprint would be. I was disappointed to find it is just average for an Aussie or an American - 20 tons per year! With our solar hot water, limited use of the automobile, and other factors, I had hopes we'd do better than that, not that I expected to come close to the 4.8 tons per year for Jaye's household, but really!

Then I thought about all the Air Conditioners and Air Cleaners we run to keep my husband's MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities) under control. That's the main culprit, but there are more things we can do.

I printed the list from Action Earth, and expect to start working on it this week. Sometimes I wonder if the polluters of the earth knew they'd be reincarnated as their own descendants, living in the chemical stew they created themselves, if they'd make different choices. Maybe.

Maybe not. Perhaps they'd tell themselves they'd just "think about that tomorrow". Well there's a safe philosophy, Scarlett, for as we've all noticed by now, tomorrow never comes. It is always today.

Crushed Daisies

"He loves me, he loves me not...he loves me, he loves me not" A fun game, unless you're a daisy. If you're a daisy.... A beautiful sunny day, a perfect little breeze, some industrious bees - and then! A ruthless hand swoops down from out of nowhere, and plucks you up, sundering stem and root. Ahhh, the pain. But wait, you've been cautioned of this moment - and you know that now you will be transformed into an object of admiration and delight, perhaps a bouquet. Perhaps you will gain the ultimate honor, and a gentle hand will will weave you among you're siblings, and crown an innocent brow with your beauty. You quiver with anticipation. What is this? Petals ripped from stamen, one by one, a slow dismemberment. This is not how bouquets are made. A distant thunder mutters, "He loves me, he loves me not..." Why? ? ??? ?????????? Because they CAN.

Heroes and Writers

Who is your hero? A political figure? historical persona? music idol? Don't we all have our heroes? Someone who has accomplished the things we'd like to do? Movie stars and rockers are accustomed to screaming fans who mob their idols in public, create websites to memorialize their genius, and write gushing letters of adoration. Sports icons, royalty, the 'rich and famous' all have their fandom.

Consider the pictures, documentaries, books, movies, songs and memorabilia inspired by Princess Diana, for example. Kids who love to play cricket, soccer, baseball, basketball know who the greats in their sport are and what they've done that's exceptional. People of all ages know the words to their pop idol's latest songs, and collect their albums and pictures. We want to get close to our idols - maybe it will rub off! So who pushes your buttons? Whom we choose to exalt says as much about us as about our heroes.

We want to be beautiful, rich, sexy, talented, young and popular. Then we'd be happy, then we'd have all we could desire, or so goes our not quite conscious reasoning. When girls my age were screaming and fainting over the Beatles, I was left wondering what was wrong with them. Sure I liked the music, but why scream and jump up and down over it? It was the same with the rest of the social icons - I couldn't see what the fuss was all about. Then something happened that moved me, pushed my buttons, pulled my levers, touched my secret wishes. I got a book signed by one of my favorite authors. O.K., so now you're probably laughing your head off, and I can't blame you. What kind of a person is indifferent to the Beatles, and goes off like a rocket for - a mere writer?! Well, obviously, a bookworm of course.

I'm not alone in my particular passion. Every week there are lines at bookstores around the country where people wait patiently for the chance to have an author sign a book for them. So authors as pop idols isn't an unusual phenomenon. The difference is that bookworms are usually quiet, mild-mannered people who would never dream of mobbing an author and snatching a souvenir. Lines of bookworms are quiet, orderly things, and not the screaming, jumping mobs that surround pop stars. sigh.

I never did march to anyone else's drum. My husband knows what to expect of me, and was mildly amused to see me jumping up and down when a I got a signed early copy of a book last month. Most people would have been alarmed, convinced I was losing my mind. That behavior is reserved for the Beatles, you see, and just not the thing to do over a book.

So there you have it - my heroes are the writers who create stories that I love to read. Karen Traviss, S. L. Viehl, Nancy Kress, Robin Hobb, Holly Lisle, Anne McAffrey, Elizabeth Moon, Tanith Lee, Linnea Sinclair, Lisa Kleypas, Mary Balogh, Mary Jo Putney, Liz Carlyle, Nicole Jordan, Loretta Chase - these are women who write fantastic Science Fiction, Fantasy or Romance. They are my heroes, because they create magic with words, they create worlds with their books, and because a part of me would love to do what they do.

BookLover, Bibliophile, BookWorm - Links & Reviews

Whatever name I go by, it means the same thing. I'd rather read a good book than (almost) anything else. If I'm at church, I find the church library; at a party, I find the host's bookshelves; on vacation, look for my face behind the printed book cover. In bed when I was little, I'd hide under the covers with a flashlight so I could read when I was supposed to be sleeping. When we went camping, I didn't worry about bringing snacks, but I'd make sure my flashlight batteries were working - eating was optional, reading was not. It was a compulsion.

When I was a kid, I got motion sickness in the car from reading all the billboards and signs as we passed them. In this Age of the Internet, reading has achieved the distinction of a rare science.

Internet Public Library, founded by the U. of Michigan and hosted by Drexel U., offers a catalog of digital resources such as Project Gutenberg , World Wide School Library, and Digital Book Index. Free access to hundreds of thousands of texts.  Library of Congress, located in Washington, D. C., "serves as the research arm of Congress". It is the largest library in the world. Their Virtual Reference Shelf includes a link to Bartleby, with its links to free digital works such as thirty-seven of Shakespeare's plays.

Bookworms are all born asking "Why?". Now, we can get answers. Ask A Librarian, or even Chat With a Librarian, (American Memory Historical Collection - one of six collections where you can chat live with a Librarian). Research the world's largest library from your own home. Request books or materials not available at your local library. Find bills in the House or Senate with Thomas, launched in 1995 "to make federal legislative information freely available to the public". Learn with webcasts and other audio-video LoC resources online.

LibraryThing is the place to catalog your books, find reviews and recommendations for books, chat with people who like to read what you like to read (or want to read), and so on. You can purchase CueCat at LibraryThing for $15. Mine arrived today, so now I can scan the ISBN number for my books, and speedily load them into my library at LibraryThing. It doesn't require any software, and works through your computer's USB port. CueCat would make a great stocking stuffer for the bookworms on your Christmas or Hanukkah list. Bookworm heaven. Dis-advantages: so many books, so little time.

Mothers and Daughters

My mother knew I loved her - loved her when I was little kid, hugging her; loved her when I was the new mother of a baby girl, grinning at her as she held my daughter in her arms; loved her when she was dying of cancer, and I tucked her into bed and held her hand until she fell asleep.

I knew she loved me too - loved me when I kept her up all night with colic; loved me when I was a bratty teen; loved me when I began my first professional career.

It's been nine months, one week and three days since she died. She would have been eighty-four this month. I think I'm beginning to accept that she is gone, and find comfort in the good memories, in the knowledge we loved each other, and showed it.

In honor of her birthday, here is a picture of one of the good times, and a kindly reminder: have you had your mammogram this year?

Handle with flame-proof gloves!

The best of Lynn Viehl's Darkyn novels is the fifth and latest - "Evermore" to be published January 2008. Everything I loved about the previous four books is present in "Evermore": it is full of action, tender romance, suspense, daring plot twists, adorable characters, and a perfectly satisfying conclusion.

Oh - and wear your oven-mitts to hold the book, because it is hot, Hot, HOT! In fact, if you are offended by sexy scenes, just don't read it. This is a book for adults only, no kidding - scenes that are raw, scenes that are erotic and yet sensitive, and delicate scenes that touch an enchanted zone that is more compelling and more seductive than outright explicit sex.

I read and savored all four of the Darkyn stories that came before "Evermore", each one of them unique and unforgettable. "Evermore" sets a new high mark, though, for sensuality, for characters that will get under your skin, for sustained interest.

I'll be posting some more about "Evermore" later, as I take time to mull over the elements I enjoyed and consider ways to blog about them without spoiling the plot. I will say this one thing now with certainty - if you don't want to end up waiting too long to read your own copy, pre-order it while you can still get a first printing. This one is going to set records flying off the shelves.

Bookworm Heaven

I finished Peter F. Hamilton's "Mindstar Rising" tonight, and just realized I've hit bookworm heaven -- discovered two fabulous and prolific Science Fiction authors this month (the other is David Weber - see my "techno-babble" blog) -- and that makes about fifty books I can anticipate enjoying. It's like Christmas in September.

I don't have any other books in my library that have been described as cyber-punk, and I'm not sure I want to, but for Hamilton's incredible mind, I'll happily make the exception. The setting of "Mindstar Rising" reminds me somewhat of the television series "Dark Angel" - only in Britain instead of Seattle. The tension ranges between high, higher and highest - it made me think of Robert Ludlum's suspense thrillers. The characters are so strong, the action so well-choreographed, that I was sure the book would already be a movie, but sadly it isn't.

And this was his first book! I favor stories with a strong woman as the main character, so it took me until page 100 to warm to the male MC, a former soldier and assassin who uses his psi talent to promote a sexual relationship with a young woman whose outstanding attributes include a long legs and a large breasts. I came very close to quitting the book before discovering the charm and depth of the MC, and the complexity of the writer's characters.

So, you've been warned. Do not dismiss this book (despite the first chapter), as just another formula "male fantasy" novel with a misanthropic, emotionally unavailable anti-hero. It's as far from that as you can get. I can't wait to read the next story in Peter's trilogy: "A Quantum Murder".

To Sleep, To Dream, Perchance to Write Fan-Fic

I woke up today with my busy ADHAD brain writing a fan-fic spin-off of "Mindstar Rising" by Peter F. Hamilton - and I don't even like fan-fic. I don't even know if I like Peter F. Hamilton; I'm only on page 65 of his first book, "Mindstar Rising", published in 1993. If I want to keep reading, I'll have at least thirteen additional novels of his to explore, and all of them highly rated on Amazon.com.

My dream fan-fic had something to do with designing a trail-ride for horses in front of a mansion, there was swimming pool, and a smart, semi-tame badger I set loose that was making holes in the lawn (dangerous to the horses, you know - might break a leg). You'd have to read the book to see any connection at all, and I'm sure an interpretation of my dream would be nearly x-rated, so please don't go there!

For now, I'm planning to read this trilogy, in which a modified human detective, Greg Mandel, fights crime on earth and in space using talents he developed in the military, including his enhanced psi abilities. Hamilton's future earth is a result of global warming and the resultant social upheavals. England is a tropical island where suntans are free and palm trees grow readily. Peter's characters are complex and drawn with a sharp pen. His futuristic society is many-layered and robust. His prose has a bite instead of a drawl.

One of his intriguing inventions, on page 64, is a passenger blimp powered by"hydrogen electrolyzed from sea-water by the thermal-exchange generators". There are hints earlier in the book of Turkey (and presumably the other oil-rich desert lands) going into 'that black night', and no one uses oil for power. My non-fic TBR book-shelf includes "The End of Oil" by Paul Roberts, "Natural Capitalism" by Hawken, Lovins and Lovins, "Beyond Oil" by Kenneth S. Deffeys (signed by the author!), and "Plan B 2.0" by Lester R. Brown. One item all those books have in common is an exploration of alternate power sources. Interesting how power (political, financial and physical) is so often at the crux of writing, whether fiction or non-fiction.

After reading so much space opera with female MCs, Greg Mandel's POV feels nearly alien to my mind - not bad, just very different. Hamilton's fecund mind presents a luscious variety of novum to ponder, all of it well-integrated into the 'past' of an earth we're currently living. Indeed, he creates so much food for thought, my brain was still chewing on the details in my sleep.

techno-babble

I know there are those of you who think this sort of dialog is just yummy - you know who you are and so do I - when I was in high school, you were the guys with slide rules sticking out of your pockets!

(from "The Short Victorious War" page 90)
"Am I right in assuming a complete replacement here?"
"I'm afraid so, Ma'am. Oh, I could try a weld, but we're talking a bead a good twenty meters long just across the outer face. This stuff's not supposed to break in the first place, and according to The Book, patching should only be considered as a last resort. The fracture cuts right through two of the central load-bearing brackets and the number hydrogen feed channel, too, I'm afraid."

And so on, for another two pages before Admiral Harrington is assured her ship will be " back up as quickly as possible."

Now, I admit I have a weakness for geeks and their techno-babble -- my father was one, my brother is one, my husband is one, and (of course) our son is one. But I'm not! I have a limit to my tolerance for descriptions and details of engineering, after which my eyes glaze over, my ears start receiving nothing but static, and my brain starts filtering for a change of subject.

I'm reading book three of Weber's 'Honor' series, though, because his space battle descriptions leave me breathless on the edge of my seat, and he's made me care deeply about Honor and her treecat.

My TBR Shelf

TBR - To Be Read (next)

"The Short Victorious War" and "Field of Dishonor" - books #3 and #4 in the Honor Harrington series by David Weber;

"The Third Eagle" and "The Book of Kells" by R. A. MacAvoy - she had me hooked with "Tea With the Black Dragon" and "The Grey Horse";

"Beggers and Choosers" and "Beggars Ride" by Nancy Kress - finishing up her Beggars trilogy I began reading with "Beggars in Spain";

"Mindstar Rising", "A Quantum Murder" and "The Nano Flower" by Peter F. Hamilton;

"Red Mars", "Blue Mars" and "Green Mars" by Kim Stanley Robinson;

"Lady of the Light" by Donna Gilespie - sequel to "The Light Bearer";

"The Silmarillion" by Tolkien;

"Start Late, Finish Rich" by David Bach;

"Woman - An Intimate Geography" by Natalie Angier;

"The New Feminine Brain - Developing Your Intuitive Genius" by Mona Lisa Shulz, M.D.;

"The Flavors of Olive Oil - A Tasting Guide and Cookbook" by Deborah Krasner

From this information dump, you may conclude that I'm fond of reading Science Fiction and Fantasy; I didn't plan well for my retirement; I'm learning to enjoy being female; and I now have a very good recipe for tomato, basil, mozzarella and olive oil on a baguette.

Update: Today was my first CC&R committee meeting. Ve-rry In-teresting. I have been assigned a section of the neighborhood to peruse and report on: exceptionally well maintained properties get a thank you letter, and properties with violations of the covenants and restrictions get a courtesy warning. Amazing what some people will choose to dispute. One of the restrictions is that garbage cans must be out of sight (behind a fence or in the garage) - except on garbage day. Why would anyone want to defend their view of garbage cans?! Serving on this committee drives home the thought that human beings are quirky and unpredictable, whimsical, amazing and amusing.

I want a treecat!

I'm reading "The Honor of the Queen" (book two) in David Weber's Honor Harrington Series, and fifteen more "Honor" books to go, counting "At All Costs" to be released next month. I'm not reading at my usual speed, so this is going to take awhile.

The main reason I'm going slow is the amount of technical and scientific information embedded in the story. People comfortable with math, astronomy and physics might find these details easy and simple, but that isn't my comfort zone. I read "Science Fiction" in spite of the "Science" details, not because of them. That is because "novum" - a new concept or development of science or society intrigues and fascinates me, makes Science Fiction irresistible to me, while I find detailed scientific or military explanations difficult to envision.

Weber clearly enjoys writing paragraphs describing his faster-than-the-speed-of-light drive, including the history of its development, the differences of how it works on civilian craft versus military modifications, and other inventions. I forgive him his preoccupation with science, because he has created a magnificent heroine in Honor Harrington. Her persona resonates with other female military MCs in my mind, such as Elizabeth Moon's Haris Serrano or her Ky Vatta; and my personal favorite, Shan Frankland from the Wes'har War series by Karen Traviss.

Honor lives up to her name with a vengeance. She would rather die than betray her queen, her country or her command. She is not eager to die, though, and uses all of her training, knowledge and creativity to stay alive and keep her shipmates alive also.

Honor is not all protocol and manners - she has a treecat for a pet (or perhaps the treecat has her for a pet). The empathic feline gives Admiral Harrington a decidedly original presence, perched on her shoulder using the especially padded grips on Harrington's uniform. Treecats are not only rare, they can be deadly to anyone who is a threat to their chosen people. Honor is a highly self-controlled officer in the queen's space navy, and her treecat's preference for serenity adds to her well-developed restraint.

It has been fourteen years since David Weber wrote "On Basilik Station", first in his "Honor" series, and I'm happily anticipating the enjoyment of seeing a writer develop more and more skill, as I read forward through his list. It will be a nice reversal of my usual order - finding a terrific recent novel and then going through the author's backlist.

Coming up soon: a review of "Evermore", the latest (and not yet released) Darkyn novel by Lynn Viehl.

Bloomed

Among the roses planted in memory of my mother, the Iceberg is the first to bloom.

Tempus Fugit

Ah yes, time flies, flees, and mysteriously disappears while I turn my attention elsewhere.

This past week, I've been in outer space with Elizabeth Moon's "Heris Serrano" - the omnibus edition of "Hunting Party", "Sporting Chance" and "Winning Colors". Thank you Jaye Patrick, for the Elizabeth Moon entry "eyebrows up" on your book list. I love referrals to good books, especially Science Fiction.

Update on "If you can't lick 'em": I've been appointed to the CC&R Committee. Next update after my first meeting with them, in a couple of weeks.

Update on my vegetarian (mostly) diet: We invited our son to dinner a few nights ago, and hubby cooked a salmon fillet. I enjoyed my portion, and was surprised the next morning to have had no gall bladder spasms. Another benefit of my new, very low cholesterol diet. I've avoided salmon for years because it was too rich, and now that I've been on a truly low fat, low cholesterol diet for eight weeks, I find I can occasionally indulge. Our son brought chocolates for desert, and I amazed my self (and my family) by declining my favorite food. It didn't take any will power at all - I really didn't want them. I guess I've just lost my membership in the "I'd do anything for chocolate" club.

Another thing I've lost: eleven pounds since July 2. That puts my BMI (Body Mass Index) at 29.3 - under obese, and into overweight, according to the BMI calculator at the Mayo Clinic.

When I get back to what I weighed in 2002, my BMI will be within the normal range, and I'll take my favorite clothes out of storage. I gained a shocking amount of weight during this last, long flare of fibromyalgia -- eating for energy, eating for comfort from the pain, eating from boredom because so few of my usual activities were possible. Yes, eating because I felt angry that this weird, incurable disease happened to me, and eating because I felt sorry for myself. You could say I ate my heart out.

I'm still limited in my activities, not as much as the first year, but I never thought I'd find a diet that would provide good nutritional support and let me lose the ugly pounds without an impossible (for me) level of exercise. I felt very trapped.

So if I seem 'over the top' in my enthusiasm for my current diet - now you know why.

Maybe It's All In My Head?

Or not.

A new blogger in Paris, France, "Charles Perrault" commented on my earlier posting: "could it be that in the mindset of leading a healthier life, you subconsciously had the will to end your bad habits? " I guess it's possible - I'm not objective enough to judge.

I can't prove my insomnia and nail-biting were cured with a vegetarian, whole food, organic diet, or that the my previous diet was a root cause of those problems. Some people would even suggest that IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) is caused by mental problems.

I have seen doctors (including psychiatrists), read books, had tests over the years. I took their medicines, which had unpleasant side effects and only masked the problems instead of eliminating them.

My body is calm and my mind is energized now. I don't know what was irritating my body. Maybe I have a lactose intolerance, or maybe it was chemicals, such as the preservatives or coloring added to so many foods. About a third of the population has some kind of reactions to those things, but for the majority, any other diet might be, as Charles suggested, no better or worse.

I take supplements (prescribed by my doctor). I had anemia years ago on a 'normal' diet, and recognize that any diet can be deficient in what my body needs. I have heard of people who risk their health on extreme diets - nothing but brown rice and few vegetables, for instance. A few years ago I tried a diet that was nearly all soy products, (and lost weight but my health suffered). That is the opposite of the diet I've been eating daily since July 2nd.

Every day I enjoy over eighty-one different fruits, nuts, vegetables and spices. The following brief quote (see linked page for more details) explains the processing:

"Our food products are dried in a process of lyophylization, in sublimated water vapor. This process involves drying in a low temperature AND low pressure environment. With this process, enzymes, nutrition, shape, and flavor are retained."

The food I eat is nutritionally dense - a small amount contains nutrients from a large variety of foods. It has worked for me. I strongly advise anyone seeking to lose weight or improve their health: SEEK YOUR DOCTOR'S OPINION ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PROGRAM BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR MEDICATION OR DIET.

Which, in fact, is exactly what I did. My doctor visited The Whole Food Farmacy website and gave it his hearty approval - for me. I can't say what your doctor would advise for you.

If You can't Lick 'em....

Yes, it is true. I've requested membership in the dreaded CC&R Committee. After five years of receiving their mystic 'courtesy letters', this year we received 'da bomb': conform or pay a fine of between $10 to $40 per day, to be registered as a lien against your property. The Committee wrote, "Yards need to be neatly landscaped, mowed, edged, weeded, watered and maintained in good condition on a regular basis. The standard this committee uses is the area around the School House." (FYI the School House is an historical reproduction, and is actually the community center of our neighborhood).

Every year, we weeded and trimmed. Evidently, not enough. This year, after "The Letter", we hired a landscape architect to redesign the the front yard. They removed two large, open trailer loads of debris after a crew spent two days trimming our trees, bushes and grounds. Hmmm. I guess we did let things get a bit out of hand. O.K. - so we were busy -- paint the house, install a new fence, weddings, funerals -- that sort of thing. And some back injuries and illnesses. But doesn't everyone.

So in another week, Landservices, Inc. (delightful and professional - highly recommend) will have completed our yard renovation. In the next couple of days I will find out if I'm the newest member of the CC&R Committee (or not). Among some of the things I hope to accomplish as a member of the committee: make a list of acceptable wild flowers for landscaping, and a list of those not acceptable (noxious spreading weeds), with pictures, to add to the currently somewhat vague guidelines. We tore out all our wildflowers, since we had no guidelines as to which were acceptable or not. Property liens are very serious indeed. Community Associations across the country have foreclosed on homeowners who defied their guidelines on landscaping, and wildflowers have been a consistent point of dispute.

Our property had the appearance of a natural forest setting, and every year people walking by complimented us on it. Our neighbors had not registered complaints, but the Committee let their voice be heard, and we have attempted to conform. Now our yard looks more like a manicured park than a forest. It is still an unusual landscape for our neighborhood, however it goes well with our house, which also has an unusual architecture. We have reveled in the peace, quiet and security of this neighborhood for twenty-two years, and enjoyed the amenities of jogging paths, swimming pools and tennis courts. I wouldn't trade our location for absolute freedom to do whatever landscape I felt like doing, and if we ever move, we'll probably look for a similar community association.

Moonstruck!

I just finished reading books one through four in the Vatta's War series by Elizabeth Moon. More, please! Meanwhile, I'm looking up Moon's backlist as fast as I can.

Today I'm reading her SF novel on autism, "The Speed of Dark". On page 97, she uses dark as a metaphor for ignorance of people who think they know things but don't understand that they don't know. This is a delicious book that started slow and has crept up on me, slipping into that place in my heart where I keep all things precious and rare.

UPDATE on my whole food, organic, vegetarian diet. Last night was a welcome home party for my nephew, and I ate a hot dog and three brownies (my niece makes the world's best brownies). Well, two exceptions since July 2 isn't so bad, but I won't want to do that again! My body objected -- fiercely! I like the food I'm eating and have variety, and have lost nine pounds by now. Why stop a good thing? I'm still sleeping well, no IBS (except like last night when I eat processed food), and my fingernails are still growing. Today my doctor theorized that something in my previous diet was an antoginist for seratonin, preventing the supplements I was taking from working, but now the supplements can be effective because the whole organic foods don't interfere. He said it was just a working theory, but I believe it's a rational possibility.

Panda Joy!

The giant panda is said to be the rarest of all endangered animals. The birth of four baby pandas in one day has set a record at China's breeding center for pandas. I feel like throwing a party!

For an amazing picture of one of the newest baby pandas, click here.

Mental Landscapes

I've started reading "The New Feminine Brain" by Mona Lisa Schulz, M.D., Ph.D. It is subtitled "Developing Your Intuitive Genius". Somehow, planning for a physical move has stirred up a desire to make changes in the rooms of my mind. Time to take down the cobwebs, toss out useless and tattered thought patterns, and renovate the whole structure.

I also started reading "Woman An Intimate Geography", by Natalie Angier. So now I'm reading them in tandem. The first book is a scientific analysis of the female brain and how it works. The second book is a poetic, detailed description of the female body and how it functions.

Together, they make a symphony of appreciation for what it means to be a woman. It is healing for me to acknowledge the joy of being female. When I was a child, it seemed to me that boys had all the fun - I got a doll, and my brother got a set of airplanes and pilot wings. I decided I would rather be a boy. At the age of thirteen, I was traumatized when my body informed me, quite rudely I thought, that I was definitely a girl. To say I was in despair would not be an exaggeration.

I grew up in a family where girls were supposed to become teachers or nurses. And boys? Well they could be anything they wanted -- from firemen to doctors to engineers (as long as they didn't want to be girls). Although many of my peers overcame similar restrictive upbringings, and went on to become whatever they wanted to be, I did not. Eventually I met a man that I couldn't live without, and we had children. I enjoyed motherhood. Now that my children are adults, I'm enjoying having the time to study and pursue my interests, one of which is to discover and understand what it means to be a woman, to be me.

My mental landscape is getting a makeover. I don't know exactly what it will look like when I'm done, but I think I'll like it.

Unexpected Results

I began a vegetarian diet on July 2nd, expecting to improve my health and energy and lose some weight. So far, I've lost five pounds and I do have better energy. It's the unanticipated results that have me truly excited though.

Three things have plagued me constantly since childhood: IBS, insomnia, and biting my fingernails. In the past six weeks, I have entirely stopped biting my fingernails without even thinking about it; I sleep soundly nine nights out of ten; my IBS has been in abeyance the past six weeks.

Who would suppose that any of those things, let alone all three, might be mitigated with an organic, whole food, vegetarian diet? Certainly not me. I'm amazed -- stupefied, really. Is it a coincidence of timing? Could all three disorders just disappear at the same time, after being lifelong burdens -- burdens that I hated and tried all kinds of medicine and remedies to eliminate?

I'm wondering what repairs my body is making that I haven't noticed? Six weeks ago I promised a report on how the organic, whole food vegetarian diet worked for me. I never thought it would do more than help with my weight and energy (if even that).

So here is the link again, for anyone who is curious about what it might do for them (and yes, it tastes good).

What Pandababy Eats

Planted and Uprooted

The ten bare-root root roses are planted, and we are in the process of being uprooted. After twenty-two years in this home, and nearly all our lives on the west coast, we're getting ready to move to Virginia next year.

The work on detailing the house, preparing it for the market, is already in progress. We'll be going from a single-family home to a condominium, from mild weather to humid summers and freezing winters, and from the casual west to the more formal east. I can't wait! Our family will all be in the same area again, and visits won't require a six-thousand mile round trip.

Like most people who are rooted in a home and a community for decades, we have inadvertently collected a mass of *stuff*. Now comes the weeding process: what to toss, what to give away and what to ship. Shipping costs being nearly the same or even higher than replacement value for many things, there will be plenty to give away.

This is an opportunity to reconfigure our nest, crowded with the memorabilia of our lives, into a more functional and aesthetically pleasing space.

The ski-boat takes up half the space in the garage, and is loaded with sunny memories, but it hasn't seen the water in a decade. Now, instead of slowly turning into a pile of fiberglass dust on the garage floor, which is what I anticipated, it will be sold. We'll still own the sunny memories, so it is a net gain.

Contractors have been selected to upgrade the electrical wiring and to reconfigure the landscaping in the front yard. The internet has become a fantastic tool for searching out a new home thousands of miles away. We've worked out a plan, and the plan is working.

Moving tears down cobwebs, literally and figuratively. Tomorrow: some of the changes that have surfaced in the landscape of my mind.

Roses

Portlandia, Eden, Iceberg, Bonica: these are the roses ordered today from Heirloom Roses.

Thank you Sonny and Lyndol for such a lovely way in which to remember my mother.

(I can't add images that are copyrights of Heirloom Roses, but as soon as I have blooms, I'll take my own pictures to post in my blog. Meanwhile, follow the links to see great pictures of these beauties.)

Shiver me Timbers!

"Only With Your Love" doesn't seem like quite the right title for the best pirate story I've ever read. Lisa Kleypas wields her pen with the abandon of a pirate sword in this hearty tale of degenerate villains and renegade pirates (not an oxymoron - or what do you call a pirates who renege on being pirates?

OWYL doesn't fit with Kleypas' usual Regency romance, and I like those so well I read all that I could acquire first - nine e-books from Powells.com and six paperbacks through BookMooch. Maybe I inadvertently saved the best for last. (I have such a weakness for pirate stories.)

Two of my favorite characters from Lisa's novels are Lily Lawson, in "Then Came You", and Madeline in "Because You're Mine". On the surface, it would seem implausible that both of them could be my favorites, since they appear to be opposites: Lily is experienced and sophisticated, Madeline is the ultimate naive innocent. But they are both kind, intelligent, independent and in need of a worthy hero to love. Fortunately, Kleypas provides each of them with their own sexy, strong, intelligent and loving man.

There is more I should say about Kleypas' talents, which I enjoy so much, but I'm only on page 55 of "Only With Your Love", so look hardy mates, and raise the jib.

Avast there, we're away.

PassWord Nut House

Surely no one else has managed to create such a password nut house as what has been growing in my file drawer for years. Two file folders, a notebook, scraps of paper, post-it notes, nothing in alphabetical order or even categorized.

Today I reached the limits of my insanity. I opened up the new MS Office OneNote 2007 that my husband gave me (he likes to see me organized -- it is such a rare view).

And I discovered it's so-ooo easy to put passwords behind an encrypted password -the only password I'll ever have to remember again. It is easy to put them in alphabetical order, within a table (yes, yes, I know - a table, but trust me, OneNote makes it easy). It is easy to add columns anywhere I want, easy to add rows above or below existing rows to keep the table alphabetized, and easy to print the table if I should want a hard copy. Oh my - if I'd known it could be so simple, I would have done this a long time ago.

Mary Balogh - historical romance with heat

I enjoyed reading historical romance a few decades ago, but thought I was 'done' with that genre now. Wrong. Somehow - I don't even remember why, I stumbled across "A Summer To Remember" by Mary Balogh a few months ago. How did I miss reading her works previously? I've counted sixty-eight novels on her backlist and she's still writing. Happily, many of her earlier works are being reissued in both print and e-book format. My addiction to historical romance is rekindled. So far I have collected nine of her e-books from Powell's books online, plus four of her novels in print through BookMooch, and I have six of her books on hold at the library.

Mary Balogh's characters are people I'd like to meet (well - maybe not the villains), and I appreciate the exquisite settings she provides for their lives. Is there any more critical reader than someone who writes and studies the art and craft of creating a novel? I'm frequently jarred out of the story by less experienced writers, but not by Balogh. Her prose is smooth and lyrical and her plots develop with enough surprises to keep me interested. There is a sense of timing in her books that feels realistic without dragging the action. I love it that her characters have strong convictions, have honor and courage, but also have flaws and failings. Perhaps it is as much how her MCs deal with their failings, as their honor, that makes them sympathetic and fascinating.

There is heat in Balogh's stories, explicit, well written and well-balanced with the rest of the story. While her characters have physical attraction for each other, she develops their personal psychology and background, their other reasons for romance, and I can't say which I enjoy most - it adds up to a good reading experience. The chemistry between her MCs is believable and complex.

Coming in tomorrow's blog - another of my favorite romance writers.

More Laughing

Two A.M. and I'm reading "An Offer From a Gentleman" by Julia Quinn, laughing out loud (again). The delightful Quinn has an intriguing knack of taking hum-drum, worn-out plot templates and turning them on their ear with an infusion of humor and her own unique brand of story-telling.

I know I promised more of my favorite romance writers for today's blog, but really -- I must get back to the story. Later, o.k.?

Laughing at Midnight

I'm currently reading "How to Marry a Marquis" by Julia Quinn - the second of her books that make me laugh out loud.

I didn't want to wake my husband so I also found myself giggling, snorting and nearly choking as I tried not to laugh loud and long at the pictures in my head. But I failed several times and ended up laughing out loud at the misadventures of Quinn's characters. This is actually the second of J.Q.'s books that made me laugh out loud, the other being "Brighter Than the Sun". The first book I read by the clever Quinn was "The Duke and I", which only made me giggle, although I had a silly grin pasted on my face for most of the book.

Romance can be funny - in real life it often is - albeit unexpectedly so, and the funniest stories are perhaps those which most closely resemble reality. I greatly admire Rosina Lippi for "Tied To the Tracks" for instance: literature that is not only romantic, but so humorous that in some catalogs it is listed under comedy rather than romance.

Romance writers must be an intrepid lot, with a stash of courage that exceeds that of scriveners who choose other genres. I think there are more traps for romance novelist than for, say, mystery writers. One thing that a romance must have is chemistry between the MCs, but how to accomplish that without over-writing the descriptions of their attraction to each other and their subsequent actions? Quinn does it with a light touch, as does Amanda Quick, another historical romance author whose prose has made me laugh out loud.

Even more difficult than funny romance, though, may be writing a heated romance that is also suspense, and managing to include a cause to laugh out loud - or at least induce good giggles - between the torrid scenes and the nail-biting action and suspense. S.L. Viehl, writing as Gena Hall in the Paradise series, (and later using the pseudonym Jessica Hall in the "Fire" duo and the "Blades" series), managed to startle some very surprised laughs out of me in the midst of her original, fascinating and hot romance-suspense works. I must compliment romance writers who can make me laugh because of their deft touch with the human comedy, and not, as happened this week with a writer I haven't named, because a scene is so overdone it becomes ridiculous.

And that is why I think romance writers are so very brave - it takes courage to address our deepest human hopes and fears - to be loved for ourselves and to not be ridiculed by someone else. It takes fierce determination, I would suppose, to write scene after scene with that exquisite sense of timing and honesty which makes the reader say to themselves "Yes, that is just how it is", and make them actually empathize with those emotions.

Tomorrow: the rest of my favorite romance writers, and why I like their novels.

Vegetarian - First Six Days Good

Six days of vegetarian eating have passed remarkably fast and easy. So far, so good - my average calories per day are down by 400 calories, without feeling hungry or having cravings. I'll be curious to see if I actually lose any pounds by day fourteen.

Bamboo Dreams

Dreaming of planting some tall bamboo next to the west fence, and some ground cover bamboo next to the north walk, and some thick bamboo next to the fence by the greenway for privacy.

The New York Times has reported the scientific breakthrough - growing bamboo in test tubes. The world will now have an adequate supply of bamboo; pandas and gardeners rejoice!

So why would bamboo be in short supply? A plant that flowers only once every sixty years, and is difficult to propagate from seed or by dividing existing plants, bamboo is in demand for producing fabric "as soft as silk", paper, food, flooring, furniture and other wood products. According to Times, bamboo absorbs four times the carbon dioxide as normal trees, and releases thirty-five percent more oxygen. Perhaps the day will come when enlightened cities plant bamboo by the roadside and downtown spaces, providing more breathable air in crowded, commercial centers.

Boo-Shoot Gardens in Mt. Vernon, Washington, has taken the lead in bamboo production. They stock forty-two varieties of bamboo: twenty-four of them from tissue culture.

Shirts of Bamboo offers a variety of "soft, breathable, natural clothing for men, women, red pandas and babies".

Pandas International is a resource for panda pictures, opportunities to adopt a panda, and amazing panda facts.

Yes, bamboo is good for many things - it is especially good for pandas.

R-Rated (not)

I was surprised to discover Kat Dancing sports an R-rating on her blog, so I was curious to see what vegetarian bear rates - see results below. Well then, pandas are cuddly but not terribly sexy, right.

Eight Things I Don't (usually) Tell Other People

I normally throw any kind of "chain-thang" into the delete bin... but, just this once, for Jaye, who tagged me:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each participant posts eight random facts about themselves.
3. Tagees should write a blogpost of eight random facts about themselves.
4. At the end of the post, eight more bloggers are tagged (named and shamed).
5. Go to their blog, leave a comment telling them they're tagged (cut and run).

1. I was such a hyperactive toddler that my parents put a harness and leash on me when we went out in public.

2. I signed up to be trained as a nurse in the Navy when I was nineteen, but I was never inducted because my parents both refused to sign their permission, which was required for females (but not males) under twenty-one in those quaint olden days. The conflict in Viet Nam was just heating up then.

3. I roomed in a former firehouse and when I was late to work, I took the fire pole to the main floor.

4. My college music teacher locked the door after class started, and one morning I was late. I was so desperate to get in that I wrote "pretty please" with my lipstick on a piece of paper, and slid it under the door. The class was laughing so hard he couldn't teach anyway, so he let me in.

5. I love seeing kids learn new things - the excitement they have when they master a new skill, and so I have given lessons in accordion, organ, and piano, and swimming, and have coached kids soccer and coached kids for speech tournaments. I count my greatest success as the Christmas program where I assisted the choir director, when several parents came up to me and said with delight, "We could actually understand the words in the carols this year!". I didn't tell them I cheated. I had promised the kids that they could earn a candy for each verse that they could recite accurately to me, and it became a competition with them, to see who could earn the most candy!

6. The first Thanksgiving dinner that I cooked, I didn't realize the frozen giblets had to come out of the turkey, and several hours later, one of my guests discovered why the bird wouldn't cook right (but the wine was good, so maybe everyone had a good time anyway.)

7. The flower that melts my heart is a pink miniature rose.

8. My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July. Happy Fourth, y'all!

Now this is the really hard part -- who to tag?

Cat over at Kat Dancing

Heather has just been tagged with something else, so she's safe, and I can't think of anyone else right now, so just add yourself in comments if you want to play.

My new Panda diet

Panda bears are basically vegetarians. They prefer eating flowers to eating other critters. (Or maybe they just don't want to move fast enough to catch anything but flowers and bamboo.) So like my namesake, I prefer a diet of vegetables, fruit, grain, nuts and sometimes yogurt and cheese.

Last night, my sister, who is suddenly looking as svelte and lovely as her daughters, brought over samples of organic whole foods, which have made up the bulk of her diet for the past two weeks. I spent today grazing on tasty combinations of raw dates, oats, raisins, sesame and sunflower seeds, almonds, cashews, hazel nuts, pecans, walnuts, Brazil nuts, prunes, grape seed oil, figs, raspberries, brown rice, kidney beans, chick pea flour, bananas, peas, pumpkin seeds, blueberries, millet, rye, barley, quinoa, and over forty-three other delicious foods and spices.

Tonight, I sent for my own thirteen-day supply of healthy, organic food. If it does half for me what it has done for my sister, to eat unprocessed whole foods, I'll be more than happy - I'll be ecstatic.

I enjoy eating fresh strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, cherries and bananas in the summertime, but the rest of the year I fall off my vegetarian wagon.

If, like me, you have wanted to eat organic, whole foods and, like me, you've had difficulty finding the variety you want, and more difficulty finding them convenient and easily consumed, then you may also want to investigate the foods I just ordered.

I will get paid a referral if anyone -however unlikely - purchases stuff using my linked page, however, I'd tell you about it even if I didn't, because it is good stuff.

Here is a link to my referral page:
http://pandababy.wholefoodfarmacy.com/2005/ga_home.asp

I'm going to take some 'before' pictures now, and if it goes well, I may post them with my 'after' pictures in a month or two. My confidence is high, because my sister is like me, and finds it hard to stay on a diet or lose weight, and to do so and also have energy and look younger at the same time, is just something that has not happened to her before, nor to me either.

So that's what I've been up to lately: yummy, whole organic food.

The Next Exciting Event in my life

Scheduled for Wednesday this week, the next exciting event in my life: my bi-annual mammogram. Oh, sorry, you were expecting maybe a trip to DisneyWorld? Not this year.

Last Thursday was the six-month anniversary of my mother's death from breast cancer. Yes, I still miss her, and yes, I'm still angry that she never had a mammogram. If she had, she would still be dancing, and reading to her fourteen great-grandchildren.

I can't believe the number of women over sixty who have told me they 'don't need a mammogram at their age'. I'd like to fire their doctors!

FACT: the older you are, the more at risk you are for cancer. MORE not less.

Haven't had a mammogram? GET. ONE. NOW. Your family will thank you.

And so will I.

Paying it Forward

One of the best movies I've ever seen was "Pay it Forward". If you have never seen it, do yourself a favor, gather your kids and friends, and enjoy.

I recently discovered that the writer's community, Forward Motion, was named after the idea of paying it forward. Not surprising, when I considered that it was started by fantasy and suspense novelist Holly Lisle. She has 'paying it forward' built into her career. On her website, Pocket Full of Words, I found "Mugging the Muse", her free, funny and practical guide for novice novelists. I enjoyed reading her free books and I continually learn about writing as a career from her Diary.

This week, Holly's four writing clinics - on creating Language, Culture, Characters and Plot, are discounted 10% at her online bookstore. Holly has an Affiliate Program for paying commissions for referrals on purchases, and I think it's a good opportunity, but for now, I'm just saying "thank you".

What I mean is that I haven't signed up for the program, and I do not receive any kind of payment for any of my recommendations, referrals and links on this blog. It is my way of thanking Holly for all she has taught me, for all the enjoyment I've had reading her novels, and not only Holly, but also 'zette and the other writers I have mentioned on Pandababy.

If you don't need any books on writing, Lazette Gifford's latest novels, "Muse" and "Ruins" are both on sale at the bargain price of $3.59 each. Lazette is an original writer and I enjoyed both of her novels. I've learned writing techniques and found motivation in zette's "Two Year Novel" course books, also on sale this week at Holly Lisle's online store.

Thank you, PBW

I won a signed copy of Blade Dancer from Lynn Viehl yesterday. Set in the StarDoc universe, but with a different MC, Blade Dancer is my favorite of all the StarDoc novels.

Lynn revealed the research she did on swords and sword fighting in answer to a recent question on her blog, PaperbackWriter. She also wrote a series of suspense/romance novels: "The Deepest Edge", "The Steel Caress", and "The Kissing Blades", which revolve around a theme of swords, published under her pseudynom Jessica Hall.

I have greatly enjoyed finding and reading Lynn's backlist, including the three she wrote as Gena Hale. By whatever name she chooses, Paperback Writer creates fascinating characters and interesting plots. Her books are all in 'keeper' section of my bookcase, where I shelve the stories that I read more than once.

Thank You, Zette

Lazette Gifford is a prolific writer, author of at least fourteen published novels, countless short stories, three books on writing and editor of several anthologies and Vision magazine. She owns and manages Forward Motion, an online community numbering over 10,000 members, and is Associate Publisher for Dragon Tooth Fantasy Ebooks. Zette has won honors for her photographs and digital designs, and has three book covers to her credit.

Zette has a collection of the thousands of photographs she's taken of animals - one of my favorites is the Amur leopard published by the University of Michigan on their Museum of Zoology website. (Congratulations, Zette on the U of M using so many of your pictures.)

(On days when I'm feeling as if nothing can lift me out of my fibromyalgia gloom, I'm amazed to find myself smiling and even laughing out loud at the photographs, stories and pictures you publish, Zette!)

The most amazing aspect of Zette, to me, is that with all her creative talents and administrative responsibilities, she puts people first. Amidst her writing and publishing to deadline and managing an online community of writers, teaching some of the classes at Forward Motion, and participating in several of the writing challenges, Zette takes time to encourage and mentor members of her online community. I've watched her celebrate their accomplishments and offer comfort with sound advice when they're distressed.

When the excellent rules at Forward Motion - which have made the community a safe haven for new writers and even minors - need to enforced, Zette communicates the rules and issues with clarity, patience and common sense. (Zette, you're like an uber-mom for us, settling squables and soothing sensitive feelings. Thank you for keeping the peace in our community.)

I have benefited from her knowledge and experience which she shares in the Two Year Novel class, and also in her recently published manual based on the class, but first and foremost, I have been inspired by Zette herself - an amazing and wonderful living template of what it means to be creative and caring.

(Zette, may good health and prosperity be with you increasingly this year and always. Thank you for all that you do and all that you mean to me. Most Sincerely - Pandababy)

Margaret Fisk has linked to other Zette Appreciation Day postings on her blog. Don't just take my word for it -- read what the friends who know Zette well have to say.

My Virtual LIfe

I can't tell you the name of more than two other residents on my cul-de-sac but I can tell you about writers who live in Canada, Florida, Great Britain, Australia, and Nebraska -- friends I've never met face-to-face.

Four years ago I was busy full time and loving my work. My husband insisted I wear a cell phone and keep it turned on, because even when we were on the same campus where he taught, he couldn't find me without it. Then a severe flare of fibromyalgia left me too weak to leave my house, and when I regained a little strength, I turned to the Internet.

I used the Internet to research our family tree in old and out-of-print books, and census pages, via a connection through the Multnomah County Library. Internet genealogy websites showed me researchers working on the same family genealogies, which is how I found the historian in Texas who wrote a book about my husband's great-grandfather. Through the Internet, I discovered the 1912 Port of Entry record for my Finnish grandmother at Ellis Island. The research I documented in the first two years was more than ten years working without the Internet.

The third year, still not recovered from my fibromyalgia flare, I found the NaNoWriMo website, and spent November 2005 working on my first novel. That led in turn to Forward Motion, a friendly website for writers where I learned to write haiku. In January 2006 I joined a free class at FM to work on my second novel.
(continued in my next posting)

Missing Muse Found

My missing Muse has been found, after an heroic search by Silvergull, who brought the Muse out of hiding with an e-mail game of 'story-tag', a lure that no Muse can resist.

Meanwhile moi, Panda, am recovering from attacks of vertigo, gratis my fibromyalgia - again! Would seriously consider transplant to a bio-cybernetic body at this point. Bids, anyone?

And - panda has a new friend, Goldibear. She arrived on Mother's Day from Washington, D.C., weighing eight-and-a-half ounces, and 12 inches long; godparents - Ruth and Jason.

Pictures soon to follow.

Missing my Muse

My muse has gone missing - lost, stolen, AOL, hiding, ill, imprisoned or (please not) dead. It is short story challenge month at Forward Motion, and when I stop to think of what to write, my mental landscape is as sere as Earth's moon. I don't see myself as someone who writes darkly, not horror or black humor or cynicism - but this may be the year.

In the absence of inspiration from within, I read and intimidate myself with the deep insights and sparkling wit of published writers such as Mary Balogh. I re-read books by such authors as Eluki bes Sharhar and S. L. Viehl, and marvel at the plot twists -- how do they DO that?!

Stopping by Paperback Writer's blog the other day, I found one of the answers: Viehl has a free e-book for download, a clever writing manual with answers to questions such as mine.

Perhaps, as the Book says, there is a time and a season for everything. Perhaps this is my season to write something on the dark side. I'm in the mood for it: missing my mother, impatient for my thyroid to recover and award me energy to function, looking at the short end of life with more questions than answers.

Hmm. Lemonade, served on the sharp side, coming right up.

Mothers Day and Politics

Today I'm reading "Butterfly and Hellflower" for the second time, and finding it as enjoyable as it was earlier this year. Eluki bes Sharhar has scattered interesting soliloquies on the meaning of honor throughout the story and today, Mother's Day, I'm thinking of the influence of mothers.

Why honor mothers on Mother's Day unless it is true that they have a role to play in shaping the values and lives of their children, and by extension, the society in which we live? Surely it is not only for the single act of birth, while difficult and hazardous, that we honor mothers. No, it must be for the choices we mothers make day after day, year after year, thoughtfully forming the young lives we nurture.

If nurturing and demonstrating honor and other virtues is true motherhood, then many who have never had a child, many who are not even female, qualify as mothers.

Today, I honor my mother, who made many difficult choices, and showed love and honor. I honor also the other mothers in my life, who demonstrated patience and love and honor, and gave me truth and hope.

On page 326, the Hellflower muses, "Is there higher honor than honor? When honor itself twists like a serpent, what shall we prove ourselves against to know we are still human? ... If humans who betray are human no longer, what is honor that is only a tool of kingmakers?"

As the political debates heat up in preparation for next year's election, we see honor twisting like a serpent, and candidates also as they bend to appeal to voters on both sides of the issues. I look for a candidate with honor, one who will be the same person when the mic is turned off and the voters are no longer watching to see what they do.

The "honor that is only a tool of kingmakers" -- that is only for show and not of substance, is made of promises not kept and actions that are political payback regardless of the hurt to the country.

Perhaps we only see see true honor clearly when it is evident by what is lost. I'm thinking of President Ford, when he pardoned President Nixon. At the time, I said "He did it because he loves this country, and it was the best thing for the country." We were in a precarious military and financial position due to Nixon's resignation and what the world thought would be a public trial. People forget how fast the dollar was falling, and how dangerous that Cold War world was. At the time, Ford was judged with harsh cynicism, and people said he 'made a deal' just to be president. What the pardon really did was make him unelectable, and he and his advisers knew it at the time, as it has been revealed since his recent death. That is why I thought he had honor -- there was nothing but loss in it for him to pardon Nixon. He did it for us, not for his own ambitions. Time magazine honored him recently on their cover for his honor. Even though he had to wait until after he died, his honor was finally acknowledged.

I wonder if there is a candidate running now who would take the hard choice? The only one I can see who has a track record of living with hard choices is McCain. He survived as a prisoner of war, and kept his honor. He is old enough to see what his life has been about, old enough to have made mistakes and learned from them, old enough to have gained wisdom as well as knowledge and experience. There are candidates more handsome and more eloquent, but I don't see any who have a better history of honor. I wish him well, and hope the voters will be looking past the sound bites, the easy answers and the pretty faces.